Monday, January 18, 2010

Seepy Bear, Grumpy Bear

I don't know what it is about sleeping, or rather the lack thereof that makes me so mental. I know that I only have this limited amount of time allotted for sleeping (not to mention it's usually not enough to begin with). So if I don't drift off to la la land right away, then in the back of my mind all I can see is my alarm ringing at 7:15, kids waking at their normal time and requiring breakfast, and Gavin still needing to get to school on time. Unfortunately, there's no dvr pause button on life so that I can catch up...and THAT is what makes me mental. Life still continues whether I've met my FDA allowance for sleep or not. (I know the FDA doesn't regulate sleep. It was a joke, so please, no emails or notes correcting me.)

Actually, the whole science of sleep is fascinating to me. Every time I can't sleep, the next morning I'm usually thinking "My brain just wouldn't shut off. I couldn't make the night time turn from Sleepy Lane to Dream World Drive." And I have no idea what inhibits that turn. I have my turn signal on well in advance. I apply steady pressure to my break to slow myself down for it. And I sufficiently check traffic to make sure that the turn is safe. And yet, sometimes, my car won't turn. It stays stuck on Sleepy Lane. And the harder I try to turn onto Dream World Drive the more impossible it is to find.

And this is what happened on Saturday night.

A group of us girls went to OKC to celebrate our friend's upcoming wedding. This bachelorette weekend included an afternoon of pole aerobics. (Yes, I said pole aerobics. And yes, it is what you think it is...but more on that later.) After aerobics we checked into our hotel room. 12 girls. 2 hotel rooms! Each room slept 6. There were two queen beds in one room and a pull out full sized bed in the living room. Two girls got in early and staked their claim early. The four that followed behind decided to let the bride-to-be have a bed. (I know, we are so nice. :)) So it was down to a friendly game of rock, paper, scissors for the the remaining three. Elimination style. 1 gets the bed with the bride-to-be and the other 2 get the pull out bed. And guess who was first to be eliminated? Yep. Me.

So after a night out on the town celebrating the upcoming nuptials it was time to return to the hotel and hit the hay. Ugh. My bed is usually an inviting place at the end of the day. This pull out bed, was not. Sarah (the other unfortunate loser), and I readied our bed. We put a flat sheet on the bottom (no fitted sheet). We had another flat sheet, 2 pillows and a down comforter. I think our comforter was thicker than our mattress.

After our goodnights, we turned off the lights. By this time is was 2:30 and as exhausted as I was, I knew Mr. Sandman was quickly approaching. But I was wrong. I had a few problems.
1.) Our mattress was so thin and so small (at least smaller than what I'm used to) that I was worried about flopping around and flinging Sarah off the bed. Every move could be felt. I swore she could feel my heart beating from her side of the bed.

2.) Our pillows were those big puffy ones that look fun, but when you lay your head on them, they smash down like a pancake. And really there's no point to having a pillow when you're head is the same level as the mattress. So, I started getting stuffy.

3.) When I get stuffy I have a unnatural need to clear my throat.

4.) Although the room was perfectly pitch black it was also perfectly quiet...too quiet. Sean and I sleep with our ceiling fan on high all year long. As if that wasn't enough for air circulation and noise we also have an oscillating fan that sounds like a jet engine taking off in our bedroom. It's awesome. (But somehow, strangely enough, although it reduces most noises, I can still hear the sounds of footed pajama feet swishing across the carpet as a kid comes in the room.)

5.) I can't even guess how many doors I heard slam shut after we'd turned off the lights. Doors slamming, people running up and down the hall and at least 3 sirens going off, all kept me from turning onto Dream World Drive.

I could see my turn. I could smell it. I could feel it. I was prepped for it and I couldn't make it happen!

and finally 6.) I was hot.

All of these things combined for a mental Macey questioning if she would ever fall asleep. If she was going to have to drive 5 girls back to Tulsa totally sleep deprived. For the safety sake of my passengers, and for the love of God I needed to fall asleep!!!!

Somewhere between 3:30 and 4 (I'm not exactly sure because I refused to look at the clock), I finally decided to get up. I needed to fix all of these problems because they weren't fixing themselves. And Mr. Sandman was of no help. I also have this inner struggle that I think that actually getting up is somehow conceding to the anti-sleep goblins. If I just stay in bed, I will somehow beat them at their own game and I will...I WILL eventually fall asleep. But I usually end up conceding...and usually hours too late.

So, I got up. I got a drink. (Water, thank you very much.) I found the wall thermostat, turned it to COOL and punched it down to 66. On my walk back to bed, the air kicked on, a familiar and comforting sound. I felt better already. As I laid back down into my thin, narrow bed in my silent room I realized what I needed. I needed some ambiance. Some iPhone generated white noise to drown out all annoying, Mr. Sandman halting, turn preventing sounds. So I grabbed my phone. (Yes! There IS an app for that!) I pulled up the Apps Store, and before I knew it I had my very own oscillating fan laying on my pillow. Well, the noise of the fan, at least. It was EXACTLY what I needed. It was able to drown out the slamming doors, the footsteps, the sirens, and most importantly of all, my own thoughts.

And it worked.

I quickly found the street I was looking for and turned safely onto it. Dream World Drive.

If you have any issues sleeping or staying asleep, let me recommend some white noise. iPhone app produced, or not, it could be just what your brain needs to stay soundly asleep. I would, however, steer clear of anything having to do with water. Those usually make me need to pee. (I kid you not.) And thunderstorms make me think there is actually a storm outside. Then I have this weird urge to turn on the tv to make sure there are no tornadoes, which just isn't good for my sleep patterns either! But a nice, steady white noise sound might be just the thing to keep you from getting mental, like me. After all, a sleepy mind is a terrible thing.

So sleep well...and...

Until next time.


  1. I do the fan thing, too all year long. I even bought one to keep at my mother-in-law's house (and now she is addicted to it). It started in college with my roommate who had this broken oscillating fan, it wouldn't oscillate anymore. Our little house was FREEZING cold in the winter, but we still had that fan going into the corner. It helps to blow away all the thoughts of the things I didn't get done that day that need to carry over into the next. I'm with you on the getting up thing - I think, "but what if I get up and can't fall asleep even worse!?"

  2. I am cracking up at this story and at my part as the other unfortunate loser! Ha! Yeah that was a tough night's sleep. I'm surprised I slept as much as I did.