Sunday, December 27, 2009

2009 Facebook Status Updates

In case you're from Mars and have no idea what Facebook is all about, here is a recap of my 2009 status updates. Unless otherwise noted, "Macey Highberger" is the beginning of each sentence. Hope you enjoy.

January
...is trying to figure out the facebook thing and wondering if I really have the time and energy to keep this up.

February
...is looking at the clock and realizing I'm already late getting in the shower!

...is starting to make super bowl party food!

...is going to bed (and totally excited about the Killers concert!)

...is so sleepy, but has to watch Idol before bed...now I'll be singing in my dreams!

...is soooo happy to be home from Houston!

...is wishing she took more pics at the Killers concert and in Houston!

...is happy she uploaded her pics, but now sad she's tired.

...is giving up on OSU basketball and starting Idol.

...is quickly finishing Idol, rushing Gavin to bed, turning off the lights, using potty, getting blankie and getting mentally ready for the best show in the world.

...is weighing the options: guitar hero, movie, or beddy bye...hmmmm...

...is ready for it to be Monday.

...is feeling blllaahhhhh...sniff, sniff.

...is mad at Kathryn for bringing chocolate to work...but it's soooo good!

...is willing to pay someone to buy her groceries and do her laundry.

...is thinking another cup of coffee sounds divine!

...is hoping tonight's sleep is better than it has been.

...is actually considering the fantastic "car deals" going on this weekeend!

...is happy OSU won (I know, it's sad) and ready to BBQ Bevo!

...bbq'ed pork instead of bevo and will be doing cardio for it tomorrow!

...is about to start the 2nd chapter of a book to be read by Tues. Yikes!

...is bummed there is no Idol tonite (Sean said get the guitars ready...whoo hoo!!!!).

...has three words: Everlong on EXPERT!!!!!!

...is cracking up at Zoey who's "judging" the Idol singers. "Momma, she not sing good!"

...is now E15!!

March
...mad at Mathis Brothers.

...is letting out a big sigh of relief.

...likes to talk.

...is prepping food with Kristen for the party!

...is amazed...Gavin just lost his first tooth!

...is already missing that dls hour!

...wishes 5 yr old boys listened to their mothers.

...is wondering WHAT IS GOING ON???????

...is about to enjoy some homemade buttermilk buscuits and sausage gravy!

...is making chocolate chip cookies.

...is trying to determine what Zoey's Mickey Mouse cake will look like. (gulp!)

.is now moving off the couch and into the kitchen to work on corning some beef? Is that how you'd say that? Ha ha.

...is sad that tomorrow will be the last day of corned beef, cabbage, and colecannon. :'( But is very happy that LOST still ROCKS! :o)

...is trying to figure out the best ratio of icing to color black, copper and red for Zoey's cake. Hmmmm....

...is thinking party clean up should happen tomorrow.

...is probably fully caught up on her sleep...until her body yells at her tomorrow for not getting her full 10 hrs plus a 90 min nap!! Dang, I should've been in bed 30 minutes ago!

April
...is soooo ready for LOST, I could pee my pants. Ok, not really, but I'm super excited!!! :0P

...is thinking that i need a lock on my pantry and fridge that only opens when it knows I'll make good, healthy decisions!

...thinks today was a TERRIBLE day to walk Gavin to school...we froze.

...is sooooo excited about her lil silver present coming home soon!!!
(my new car)

...is trying to decide...work on food vs. eat food vs. do taxes vs. go to bed early vs. have a drink vs. go drive around. :o)

...Bring. On. Lost!!!!

...LOVES storms...well, the thundering kind, not the 'naders kind. Mmmmm, welcome spring!!!

...thinks house hunting is exhausting!

...sat down on the couch with a bowl of ice cream, got situated, looked in my bowl, and found NO ice cream!
(That was probably my favorite post of the year!)

May
...Just got taco meat on the stove to slow cook all day and is headed to work! Vamenos!

...ís having warsteiner and classic corned beef and cabbage with K,M&S.

...is wondering: to move or not to move? That is the question!

...is about to tee off!! Gotta love Monday golf! woo hoo

...WOW! Wow!! WOW!!!!!

...is going to bed. Something is making me super sleepy! zzzzzz

...tomorrow night, first game, 2 man, on the beach...wish us luck!

...is 1-0.

...is LOVING Adam...oh wait, no, Kris. No. Adam! NO! Kris!! I can't decide!!! So, I'm happy either way!!

...is wondering if the 4 of us really have to match for our family photo?? Really?!?! Can't we just photoshop sumtin cute instead?

...is headed to Stalewater, OK for two days of glorious golf!

...is having a really hard time with all of the orange. This university is confused...and has one letter too many!

...is stuffy.

...is cookin for tomorrow!

...is plum tuckered!

...is packing!!

...is officially on vacation!!!

... is thinking Miami is HUMID!

June
...is so ready to see her babies...and seriously needs to re-condition herself to portion control!!!

...is nervous!!

...is nervous no more. wrist did great. getting 2man down and rocked 4man tonite with a W!! woo hoo! way to go "Shut It Down"!

...is a seepy bear. (yes, seepy)

...is swimmin with the fam. thanks m and d!!

...I need a website that allows me to QUICKLY and EASILY upload and edit my pics, share them (including posting on FB), and order prints when necessary. Any suggestions?

...is waiting to see the orthopedist.

...I'm wondering if I answered the "Are you claustrophobic?" question correctly.

...is grrrr, zzzz, sigh, ugh.

...needs to go to the store but is having too much fum swimmin'!

...I'm enjoying the AC and prepping food and the house for dads' day celebration. I love you, dad and Sean!!

...I think that the 99+ degree temp+running to bball, playing for an hour, running back, then playing beach vball on the SMOKING hot sand = too much for my poor, overheated body.

...Has decided it is my new goal to become part of a music video, preferably the lead.

...Ugh. I'm awake. :(

...Did anyone clean my house and do my laundry while I was gone??

...I'm thinking 95 feels pretty darn good!


July
...Ah man, doc just said the "s" word. Maybe I can change his mind!

...is Boom Boom Pow!

...Happy Birthday, Dad!!!!! Now let's box!

...Sittin, waiting for Gavin to take the stage.

...Who has a inexpensive paella pan??

...Does anyone know if BA has plans to make 209th a thru street from 61st to 51st?? I want straight access to the new, ginormous Wally!!

...Going to NOM, NOM, NOM!

...I am...

...I'm Wicked!!!!

...BLT's, naps, laundry, & vitamin K.

...and Kristen BOOM BOOM POW'D ourselves to a win in 2. Woo Hoo!!!

August
...is thinking about going Paleo...maybe? Try it? Maybe?? I JUST WANT TO BE HEALTHY AND MAKE GOOD FOOD CHOICES!! (I'm yelling at my sugar-high-fat-dairy-all-together-junk-craving self! It's not you, it's me.)

...meeting the teacher today.

...Dinner? Check. Baths? Check. Laundry? Check. Oh yeah, and it's only 7:45!!

...Feels strangely empty and free at the same time.

September
...The devil is in the details. To pass along info without verifying the details makes you the devil.

...Why does football on tv make me want to cook chili, search for pumpkins, and think it's 40 degrees outside???? Oh I love it!!

...Tomorrow is TUESDAY...tomorrow is TUESDAY...tomorrow is NOT Monday, no matter how many times I think it is, it will sitll be TUESDAY!

...Has an uncureable headache!!!! Ugh.

...Is thinking this weather is go-jus!

...is a dancing queen.

...Thinks you can never really be there. As soon as you get there you're here. Right??

October
...So, where does the red brick road go?

...Sometimes it's hard being a witch. (sighs)

...One better...one to go.

...Just needs to vent about how much I hate Walgreens' pharmacy. Soooo frustrating. I will never return. And I'm telling anyone who will listen!

...Have we suddenly been transported to Seattle? Looks like Tulsa. Smells like Tulsa. Feels like Seattle!

...What doth that bright light that shine forth the heavens?? I think they call it a "sun"!!

...Ok. I think it's about time to actually start the job hunt process...any recommendations? Suggestions? Offers? :D (References available upon request.)

...What's up with my boat/water/fear/problem dreams???? It's getting ridiculous!

...thinks that sitting on the couch and watching the biggest loser while eating chocolate chips cookies is just wrong. With my mouth shoved full, I told the boys I wanted Jillian's body...Gavin immediately said, "Nooooo mom, then you'll be MEAN!". Ha ha...that's right Gavin, now hand me another cookie!

...Gavin was working on his -am words this morning: ham, ram, Sam and then got confused on 'bam' and kept telling me "yuh huh mom, it says 'dam'!".

...Body Combat + Body Pump = 1200 calorie burn!! (plus the after burners!)

...needs some sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching so you can rest medicine.

...Is it possible to OS (over sparkle)???? I think not!!

November
...You want a holiday gift basket full of MUNCHies by Macey...don't cha?!?! You know you do! Salsa, chocolate covered oreos, lemon blossoms, cake balls, or your very own cookie cake perhaps?!?!

...Everyone!!!! Come to 2126 S. Jamestown....RIGHT NOW!!!

...I am FREE!!!

...Loves good friends and good food. Thank you.

...Seepy bear going to find a den at the lake with momma bear and baby bear cubs.

...Do you love your job?

...wants a small, indoor, cuddly, non-yippy dog. Any suggestions?

...You need to come shopping tonight in downtown BA or skip it all and come see me at On The Corner 123 W. Commercial. Super cute stuff, plus MY baskets, salsa, and MUNCHies!! And...SANTA'S COMING!!!

...Is feeling the peace that comes with the assurance of hope.

...Is at the doctor with Miss Zoey.

...Dinner party success!! Thanks guys. You guys rock!

...I'm thankful y'all hit "accept" and not "ignore". :) Yet another successfully stuffed Macey's Thanksgiving Day Parade. (You thought I was just gonna say day, huh?!)

...Nana's left over white cake has magically morphed into cake balls!

...Gimme an "S"!

December
...Do you have a blog you love to follow? If so, I'd love to check it out. I'm looking to add some awesome ones to my blog (one, because I'm just curious about what's too good to miss and two, because I need some comments/followers!!!!) :D

...If I have to suffer thru Santa Baby one more time I'm gonna scream! And screaming seems likely since it's only Dec 4.

...The Living Christmas Tree is tonight: I LOVE sitting in a room full of people dressed in their "holiday fancy pants", the smell of "it's a church program so we better wear our nice perfume", surrounded by my favorite people on the planet (even though you won't be there), all enjoying some of the best songs and stories of the season. I can't wait.

...Makin' Cake Balls. Tryin not to sample too many.

...Christmas music? Check. Christmas apron?check. Hot chocolate? Check. Check. Yep, it's tree decoratin' time!

...Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

...Zoey said for Christmas she wants to be a white girl with pretty shoes. Not sure what that means...but I like it.

...Zoey just told me "Girls make dinner and boys....uh...boys...boy...do laundry." I like it! I need my boys to do my laundry.

...Referral needed: awesome heat and air dude. (or dudette)

...Mollee!!!. Noooooooo. Oh a plague upon this house for not voting!!! (Not really. We don't need any extra plagues around here!!)

...Please tell me how you do it. How do you tackle laundry successfully? Let it pile up and then do it all and put it all away? Or do a little at a time all the time? Tell me. I need the secret to not letting it take over my life!!

...Dear wind, I hate you. Love, Macey

...Does anyone know of a fun, hip place to have a drink, possibly food (not required), that possibly has entertainment and is kid friendly?

...Please pray for the recent loss of a dear family member...my food processor. The holidays will be rough this year.

...If it snows 7" then I owe all the Highbergers $7. So here's hoping I don't have to break my piggy bank.

...Anyone know of an awesome resort in Playa del Carmen that you'd recommend? That's also good for the kiddos?!

That's it! I can't believe it...another year has escaped me. I turned 29, Zoey turned 3, Gavin 6, and Sean 32. I met some amazing, new people who have changed my life, went on a fabulous vacation, and lost some important parts of my life, only to fill those gaps with more family and fun time. I couldn't have asked for a better year. My family is healthy and our smiles are bigger than ever. We are continuing to learn to be respectful, appreciative, giving people who love our God more than ourselves.

Here's a goodbye chest bump to 2009 and a welcoming bear hug to 2010.

Until next time. Mwah!

Sunday, December 20, 2009

I'm here, I'm here...You can all relax now.

Many of you have been asking if I'm still alive. (Ha!!! Not one person has asked, but in the dream world that I live in, people were concerned. They were very concerned.) Well, last time I checked, my pulse was normal and my breathing was even, so for all of those living a concerned life in my dream world, worry no more for I am alive.



During the last few weeks the word "daily" has been haunting me. Every time I peek over at my laptop it beckons me to tickle its keys. Yet instead of sitting down to write, I cover my eyes and pretend that eye contact really didn't just happen. (You know what I'm talking about. Like when you see someone in the store who you just really don't feel like talking to at that very moment? Uh huh, we've all been there. You cautiously duck into another aisle, you put the box of cheerios in front of your face as not to be noticed, or you flat out run away. I know, you've done it too. I just hope it wasn't because you saw ME in the store!) Well, rather than writing, I instead chose to knock out my things to do list. And yet through all of my "daily" angst, I am realizing that it's not about posting "daily". It's about writing about my "daily" experiences, the parade that is my life, which (newsflash) doesn't have to be done "daily". I can do a little something called summarize!



Thank you English class!



So for the past few weeks life around this house has been hectic to say the very least. If Christmas shopping, working out, stay-at-home-mommying, house cleaning (only my own), basket-creating, salsa-making, party-attending, grocery shopping, and everyday living weren't enough, we try to shove a little more of everything into each day. We've even started turning down requests just so we can have some time to simply breathe. But with BOTH kids being out of school for the next couple weeks...my patients and mothering skills will be tested to the max!



Last week I finished up a big snack basket order for a mommy friend of mine to deliver to her business clients. I think they turned out lovely and we've had some really good feed back so far. It's nice to hear that people are enjoying the fruits of my labor. I've been busy with orders for the holidays and honestly, I'd rather be crazily busy than sanely bored. Which is the real reason why I gave in to my beckoning computer tonight. I'm all caught up for the evening, it's now just after midnight and instead of going to bed, I decided to shove one more thing into my crazy day...or technically, my tomorrow.



So for at least today, be tickled ole computer keys for who knows what the rest of today will bring. Sibling rivalry? Of course! Regrets about not going to bed earlier? Definitely. Threats of Santa not bringing presents for bad behavior? Absolutely inevitable. But it is my life. It's my "daily" parade. And I wouldn't have it any other way.



Until next time. Mwah!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Breathe, Macey, Breathe

I get a strange sense of satisfaction and accomplishment when I'm able to take my writing utensil and cross off an item on my To Do list. Like you, I'm sure, I have about a billion things currently NOT marked off of my list. Most of them to be completed by Friday. (Don't panic, Macey, don't panic. Besides, sleep is for sissies.) One task in particular is to read through some blogs that I enjoy in order to gain some ideas of how I want mine to look and where exactly I'd like it to go. Anyway, I came across this post, and I encourage you to read it. It's beautiful. I hope it blesses you as it has me.

Birth stories

Monday, December 7, 2009

Raindrops on Roses and Whiskers on Kittens...And Big Yellow Trucks?

I can't say that I agree so much with Julie Andrews and HER favorite things. (Or possibly they are Rodgers and Hammerstein's favorite things.) However, it got me thinking about a few of MY favorite things. Heck, Oprah's got her list. I might as well make mine. Here are a few of my favorite (and not-so-favorite) things...about Christmas: (Listed in no particular order)

I LOVE...
1. The sheer craziness of Christmas. How all of a sudden it's totally normal for the entire population of Oklahoma to end up on 71st street each weekend from Black Friday through January 1. I don't take to fighting crowds too often, however, it somehow makes me feel festive when I see nothing but cars from Garnett to Memorial.

2. Interior illumination provided only by Christmas tree lights and the fire burning through the fake logs in the fake fireplace that was turned on by the flip of a switch. Mmmmm, cozy.

3. The adventure of picking out the "perfect" Christmas tree, bringing it home safely* (see note #10 below), and enjoying the house-filled scent of pine needles.

4. The endless supply of Christmas music on the radio. Even though I swear they play the same 12 songs over and over and over. Really, how many versions of White Christmas do we need, people?

5. Big, red poinsettias. (pronounced poin, like coin, set, uh. Don't say set-tia...you'll sound like a snob.)

6. Parties, parties, parties. I mean if you can get people together with food, drinks and cheerful music, what's not to love? Those are a few of MY favorite things...any time of year.

7. Christmas Programs. I loved being in these as a child and now it melts me into a puddle of gushy mommy goo to watch my own children recreate the story of Christmas (the Jesus one, not the Santa one.)

8. Tacky Christmas sweaters. Some have gone so far as to have tacky Christmas sweater parties. But truth be told, Christmas embellishments should be left for trees, garland and candles, not anything apparel related. Glue guns + Christmas sweaters = big no no.

9. The idea that we get to "threaten" our kids with "Do you want me to call Santa?" and "Ok, I guess you will be getting coal in your stocking this year" as our toughest negotiation tactics. Santa has even been known to call the house.

10. Christmas cookies, candies and snackie poos. (I hope to take pics of the kids making our favorite cookies, so I will post those later.)

11. Shopping. As if I needed an excuse, now I get to do it because I HAVE to...awesome.

12. The fact that our neighborhood is pulling about a 93% participation rate for hanging outdoor lights. I LOVE IT!

13. Making each gift a beautifully wrapped package with a matching, original, hand-tied (and probably sparkly) Macey bow.

14. Getting to listen to "Mary Did You Know" and "O Holy Night". I love them. Someday I will sing these before an audience. Chances are that audience will be my dogs or perhaps a deaf audience, but I'm gonna do it. Mark my words.

15. To be reminded about the incredibly outrageous gift of God becoming man through a virgin birth in order to pay the ultimate price for sin so that we don't have to fear death and we can be in the presence of the Almighty God, the Everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace. I am so proud and honored to be his princess.



Now a few of my Not-So-Favorite Things.

I Do NOT Love:
1. Vacuuming up pine needles for months on end after removing the Christmas tree from the house. (Although it seems when in operation the vacuum always gives us a nice poof of pine scent until about March.)

2. Getting the boxes BACK down from the attic, packing up all of the decor and then making a New Year's resolution to get the boxes back UP into the attic before July. Then realizing that we REALLY need to organize the attic...ahhh, we'll do it next year.

3. The fact that it seems to get to about 33 degrees each December. We rarely get snow. If anything it's a cold rain, or ice.

4. Bell Ringers. I'm sorry. I know, I'm going to Christmas jail. I'm not trying to be cold hearted, but really I should give a quarter to all of them that I see, then everyone's happy. Salvation Army gets my donation, kids get a candy cane and I don't feel guilty for walking past the next 40 ringers because I gave to the first one of the season.

5. Having to fight the traffic to get to the mall to stand in line with other children who are hot, cranky and tired just to have 2 seconds on Santa's knee and pay $25 for a photo where both kids aren't even looking at the camera or smiling. "Kids, did you tell Santa that mommy wants some patients for Christmas...or maybe some sedatives?"

6. Trying to honestly teach our kids that Christmas is NOT about getting gifts. It's about giving and telling people how much you love and appreciate them. I feel bad for all of the movies we watch, but if we barrage them with Christmas DVDs then at least they're not being bombarded with the gotta-have's of target marketing!

7. The impossibly hard plastic packaging that is even scissor resistant.

8. Trying to figure out where to store all of the new toys, realizing we are a totally spoiled family, and finally deciding to hide 1/2 of the kids' toys to re-gift them as brand new gifts next year. (Ha ha. Kidding!)

9. Having the great "box" debate with Sean each year. I try to convince him that every Christmas I always need boxes for wrapping presents, so bagging them up and storing them in the attic for me all year is the smartest and cheapest way to go. :D

And finally...

10. Not bringing our Christmas tree safely* home.

One year, one fateful Christmas season...our tree and almost our family, did not make it home “safely“. (Pause for dramatic effect) This is still hard to talk about, but the truth begs to be revealed and maybe if one person or one tree is saved, then I've done my part.

A couple years ago, Sean was working long holiday hours at the golf course. Gavin, I believe, had just turned 1 and we were setting out to get our annual Highberger Family Christmas tree...Griswold style. That's right, we headed to Home Depot. (What? You think we're dragging our baby out to the (not) snowy pastures of Oklahoma to cut down our own tree? You must be kidding.) Time had somehow escaped us and we were later into the season than normal for tree hunting. Not only was it late in the season, but for some reason we chose the coldest, wettest, nastiest day of the year to pick out our newest addition. I remember standing at Home Depot, dodging rain drops, looking for just the right tree. It didn't take too long, there were about five left.

Sean paid for the tree while Gavin and I went to the car to escape the weather. As we warmly waited it started to pour. Sean got to the car and started to put the tree on top of our SUV. I leaned my head out of the door and asked if he needed my assistance, as any good wife would, but secretly hoped he'd say no. And to my fortune, he told me he could get it. I remember watching him heave the tree on to the top of our SUV as it landed with a thud.

I also remember the tie down process: two bungee cords strapped across the tree in a crisscross formation. After it was sufficiently secure, my rain-soaked, and pretty annoyed husband entered the car, mumbling under his breath. This was NOT the Christmas spirit I had hoped for. We started our journey back home, discussing how we'd have to leave the tree in the garage to dry out before we could decorate it. Ugh. Pouty face. We made our way from one highway to another when I heard a terrible noise, like the roof was being ripped off. I looked at Sean to see if he shared my same concern, when I noticed his squinted eyes were staring straight into the rear view mirror. His look of curiosity changed quickly to astonishment as he said, "We just lost the tree!"

My mind did a quick double take...was this the same "we just lost the tree" joke that my dad pulled on me when I was young? After the whole family (all three of us) had gone outside, he told me as he simultaneously faked the front door being locked, that we were locked out?? Was this the same "we just lost the tree" joke as I experienced as a kid being told that there was something on my shirt and when I looked down, the other person would flick my nose? Was I to fall for this again? Do I look only to be met with a "Gotcha!"? Or, was that terrible noise that I heard from the roof, ACTUALLY our tree falling off. Too many clues pointed to the truth. I turned my head and looked out the back window of the SUV to find our Christmas tree, bouncing down the highway behind us. It HAD fallen off.

Sean slowed down and pulled over on the side of the road. Now multiple fears dashed through my mind: tree + highway = how the heck do you get something like that out from the middle of the highway?? Sean + highway = high anxiety for the wife sitting in the SUV!!! Will our sob story get us a new tree from the teens working at Home Depot? (Like a dropped ice cream cone at Brahm's!) Can we just leave it there?? Should we run?? Flight or fight and I'm ready to fly! Sean started to open his door as I stopped him, "Wait. What are you going to do?" "I'm going to get our Christmas Tree, Macey!"

If you've never noticed the shoulder of the highway is NOT very wide. I was, however, the super helpful wife and aided my husband with my verbal cues for the number of cars quickly approaching at 70+ mph, and that it wasn't safe "yet", when I saw it coming up over the horizon. It was a scene straight from an old western movie where the antagonist makes his appearance over the horizon...in slow motion. I think I even heard Darth Vader's Imperial March playing in the background as I noticed a large, monster-type, yellow truck QUICKLY approaching OUR tree. "Sean!!!," I exclaimed to make sure we were seeing the same thing. Every other car on the highway that day saw our tree, and maneuvered safely to another lane to avoid it. But not this yellow truck. As God (and Sean) is my witness, that (expletive) yellow truck ran over our beloved Christmas tree...and before our very eyes, our Christmas tree literally blew up.

I can't remember exactly what words came from my mouth, but I know they were released at a high volume and probably included some verbal diarrhea that was not acceptable for my child in the backseat. I couldn't believe it. I watched the whole thing unfold before my eyes...that truck never even TRIED to move out of the way. He took it out. He blew up our Christmas tree and if I wasn't mistaken, I could have sworn the driver was a little green, fury guy whose heart was two sizes too small.

After the explosion, Sean ran from the car to gather the aftermath. I was picturing a few broken limbs, a handful of pine needles, and a proper burial. Even if we didn't safely bring home our tree that day, we were able to come away with a pretty amazing story. After all, our brave little Christmas tree didn't blow up in vain. In fact, we were able to bring it home in decent, albeit highly damaged shape. At least enough for decorating. It had suffered a huge gunshot wound on one side and many broken limbs displaying raw, freshly snapped edges and more than a handful of missing needles. But we loved it as if it was our own...because it was.

We lived in a house with a huge picture window in the front and we placed our tree on proud display for all passersby to witness the blessed event of the season. I secretly wished that yellow truck would drive by and see that yes, he had given our tree some battle wounds, but he hadn't blown up our Christmas spirit. Neither rain nor snow, nor grumpy husband, nor fallen tree, nor Grinch in a yellow truck driving over and blowing it up ever will.

Until next time. Mwah!

Friday, December 4, 2009

But Wait...It Wasn't ME, It Was the One Armed Man!



Thank you Zoey, for thinking that I resemble a Swedish super model, however, no, I am not Tiger Woods' poor wife, Elin Nordegren.  Although, since she met the golfing guru, she has never been "poor", at least monitarily.  Unfortunately, we all know the news that's sprung up lately and my heart breaks for Elin and their precious children. 

But to combat any media frenzy this might cause, I am not, and have never been, Elin Nordegren.  Any further questions must be directed toward my publicist.  Although I did see Tiger one time in Tulsa at Southern  Hills Country Club.  I saw him PLAY...golf, that is...from afar. 

Until next time.  Mwah!

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Readers' Guide to How We Celebrate Christmas*

*but didn't care enough to ask.
Disclaimer: This Q&A was taken from http://itsalmostnaptime.blogspot.com/.  No worries Mr/s. Plagiarism Police, she said I could have it!  (She's a giver.)  So :P (that's a smiley with his tongue out for all of my +40 crowd.)

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Both.  Although both are highly caloric (especially the REALLY good ones), one glass of egg nog per year is a must.  Plus, calories are kinda out the window for holidays, right?  Unfortunately, my jeans would not agree.

*Now picturing a recent conversation I had with Zoey, while putting on my jeans. It went as follows:
Z: Mom, why are you jumping and kicking like that?
Me: (Breathless) Because...(breath)...this is how we women do it.
Z: (Bewildered) Ohhhhhh.

Having a mug of hot chocolate after braving the ridiculously cold, north Oklahoma wind can be a life saver (and a possible tongue scorcher).  I remember the best hot chocolate I ever had was from Barnes and Noble.  I swore they made it so good by melting a chocolate bar right into my drink.  In fact, they probably did.


2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree?  Santa is a funny man around this house.  He gets confused every year.  Which presents are from mom and dad and which presents are from Santa?  But he's starting to get the hang of it.  Smaller (a.k.a. boring) presents (like clothes) are usually from mom and dad and wrapped in cute, coordinating gift wrap.  And the big, tada, of a present is from Santa.  It usually sits unwrapped, close by the over-stuffed stockings...that is, if it will fit in the house.  


3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? This one varies per ornaments used. As a child we always had colored lights on the tree, so that's what I wanted when I got married and started doing my own tree.  Now I think the monochromatic white lighted trees are beautiful.  But I have come to the conclusion that I like white lights best when done with a monochromatic ornament theme, which is the case for our "pretty" tree that is displayed in the front window of our house.  It looks fancy pants.  As for the good ole homemade ornaments that my husband and I have from our childhood, and the ole obligated-to-hang-on-the-tree-this-year-because-the-kids-just-made-them-at-school ornaments, we put those on our real (as in alive) Christmas tree with colored lights...just like when I was a kid. 
As for the house, I'm currently seeking therapy because my dad wouldn't ever put lights up outside (still won't).  So, to even out the lack of lights from my childhood, we go "Griswold" when it comes to exterior illumination.  (Yes, Griswold is also a verb.)  Ok, maybe not that extreme, but Sean and Gavin do a great job putting them up.  They're mostly white, but our neighbors down the street have some that are red, green, and white and I have been coveting thy neighbor's lights. 


4. Do you hang mistletoe?  No.  I have two kids...don't need any more.


5. When do you put your decorations up? They are up!  All 'cept for the tree.  Decorating does not begin until the official sign of Christmas has appeared...the unveiling of the Christmas apron.  Once the aforementioned apron is adorned, decorating commences.   The digital music Christmas station gets turned up loud, I put on my apron, place tape, straight pins and scissors in my fancy pocket and get to work tying red bows on anything that will hold still.  Since we get a real tree (for the aforementioned homemade ornaments), and since it never seems to drink any decent amount of water to make it more than a couple weeks, and since we aren't real keen on the idea of burning down our house, we usually wait a while longer to get the tree.  NOTE: I am a stickler for decorating anything Christmas related until AFTER Thanksgiving.  One holiday at a time, please.  No need to jumpfrog the holidays.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish? All of them.  Just the idea that it's ok to snack ALL day long, even if you're not hungry.  I love it.  Ok, that is an outright Christmas lie with all the trimmings (thank you Merry Madagascar).  Christmas Eve dinner is da winner, hands down: the biggest crab legs you've ever seen, dad grills out filets, we have baked potatoes (you know, the kind with kosher salt on the outside, baked until the skins are just a bit tough...yum!!!), burgundy mushrooms, and a fabulously delicious Caesar salad. 


7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child?  Opening up presents on Christmas Eve night, then anxiously going to bed, hoping I could actually fall asleep before Santa would catch me awake and fill my stocking with coal.  Then, waking up in the middle of the night, not knowing if he'd been there or not, and trying to quickly fall back asleep just in case he hadn't.  Finally, waking up and it being Christmas morning, slowly making my way down the stone hallway to peer around the stone corner to find a bunch of wood in the living room.  Going to my mom and dad's room and telling them, "Santa brought me a bunch of chairs!" and not knowing whether to be totally excited or totally mad for being ripped off.  And finally discovering those chairs were really the parts to my brand new waterbed!

OR

Crying on Christmas day because my dad and uncle were hogging MY new Nintendo and wouldn't allow me to play...Mario Brothers! (Another cause for today's therapy need.)

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?  The year I wrote Santa a letter on my white wash board and realized when he wrote me back it looked an awful lot like mom's handwriting.  That was last year.


9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?  Oh heck yeah.  And I officially petition to start earlier and earlier each year!


10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree?  Usually take my childhood ornaments, put a hook in 'em, then place 'em approx 5'8" above the ground.


11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? Love it.  At least for a couple days, then it gets boring to be cooped up in the house, cabin fever sets in quickly and it seems like it's always the days that I know we can't get out that I want to get out the most.  "Hey, let's GO rent a movie.  Oh wait, we are snowed in...never mind (pouty face)".  And the weird thing is we never GO rent movies...ever.  But I always have the desire when I know we can't go.  So I, instead, opt for some homemade hot chocolate (bereft the chocolate bar).


12. Can you ice skate?  I can.  You should see my triple sow cow. 

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? See #7.  Oh but now that I'm reading back on this, I would probably be put in wife jail if I didn't say the marriage proposal I received in the snow, one blustery Christmas Eve night.  (true story)

14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you?  I think it's considered blasphemy of the Christmas Spirit if you don't answer the birth of our Lord, Jesus Christ, right?

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert?  Hmmm, probably overly decorated and iced Christmas sugar cookies. 

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition?  See #6


17. What tops your tree?  Nobody's tree tops my tree.


18. Which do you prefer giving or Receiving?  I prefer for people to give me gifts and I prefer to receive them.  (I know it makes people feel good to give gifts so really, that's my gift to them, they get to feel good.  And you can't buy that at a store.)


19. What is your favorite Christmas Song? Mary Did You Know...gets me every time.  And not as much until I became a mother.  How could she have known?  "Mary did you know, when you kiss your little baby, you've kissed the face of God?"  "Mary did you know, that sleeping child you're holding is the GREAT I AM?"  Wow.  Goose bumps as I type.  Powerful.  Coming in at a close second is I Want A Hippopotamus for Christmas.


20. Candy Canes: Yuck or Yum?  Only good for decorating with and giving to my children as pacfiers.  They are crazy yummy smashed on top of my chocolate covered oreos though!

21 Favorite Christmas Show?  Elf.  Hands down.  I wish everyone was that happy and innocent all year long.  "Do you need a hug?"  "You're so pretty, you should be on a Christmas card."  Seriously.  Who wouldn't love to be told that?

22. Saddest Christmas Song?  Christmas Shoes.  It's my most hated song too.  Whoever wrote it ONLY did so to jerk tears out of innocent Christmas shoppers.  Who wouldn't ball over a child who's only Christmas wish is to buy their dying mom a pair of Christmas shoes so she looks nice when she meets Jesus?  WHAT?!  That is UNNECESSARY and UNCALLED for!  You can't have my heart strings!!  I turn off the song every time it comes on.  Besides WHO wears Christmas shoes??  And if this is the new trend, I want some!  (Then you can see my new Christmas shoes and be happy for me.  See?!  I am a giver.)


Until next time.  Mwah!